Eulogy for
Alex Farese
Paul Murano
As Alex’s uncle, among the great
honors of my life was being asked to be
his godfather. Alexander Paul
Farese was baptized on July 1st, 1990,
and I remember the day. The newborn
Alex was squirming so much in his
mother’s arms, that the priest kept
missing his head with the holy
water.
Months later when he learned how to crawl
I was truly amazed at how quick and
skilled he was as a four-legged sprinter,
tearing up the living room rug with his
speed and agility. It’s not
surprising that 17 years later he would
become co-captain of his track team.
But I did not come up here to
expound upon all of Alex’s good
qualities:
I will not tell you that Alex had
great intelligence, although he did;
Or that he was one of the most
disciplined people you’ll ever know,
although he was;
I am not going to tell you he had a
great sense of humor, although he had;
Or that he was a good athlete,
good-looking, a near-perfect student, and
yet quiet and humble, although he was;
And I’m not going stand here
and tell you that he was a great son, a
good friend, a loyal teammate, a model
grandson, a great cousin, and an awesome
nephew; although he was all of those
things and more.
The truth is that Alex can not be
fully captured in a eulogy. After
reading an essay the other day that he
had recently written for school, even
Alex himself admitted that the mystery of
who he was was unfolding in a way that
was not always easy to understand.
It confirmed for me something I had
always suspected, that being a middle
child among six may have been a struggle
for Alex in carving out his own
independent identity. Despite this
he worked very hard, was about to
graduate high school near the top of his
class, had been accepted to several good
colleges, and was about to embark on what
seemed to be the beginning of something
new, something big, and something
life-changing.
So now we ask: Why then did he have
to leave us so soon?
In today’s gospel reading Martha
said to Jesus in what seems to be an
almost accusatory manner: “Lord, if
you had been here, my brother would not
have died”. After a grueling week of
Alex lying there unconscious and clinging
to life, with countless people from
around the community and around the world
praying for his recovery, the temptation
for us now is to repeat Martha’s
statement; or even worse – to claim
that God doesn’t care or that He
doesn’t exist. Alex with all
of his great potential did not recover,
and it just doesn’t seem fair.
But how are we to judge what is
fair? Are we the Author of this
story we call life, or simply characters
on a few of its pages? Without
seeing the big picture, how can we
possibly understand why some of us leave
the story sooner than others and at
different stages of life? Only the
Author of the novel knows the entire
story and sees from His eternal
perspective how all the chapters of this
great drama fit perfectly together like a
beautiful puzzle. Ours is to trust,
as St. Paul put it, that All things work
for the good for those that love God; and
that the story we’re all a part of
will culminate in the happily-ever-after
of the resurrection of the dead and life
everlasting. The sacred Author
assured us of this when He became a
character in His own novel 2000 years
ago, to conquer death and to ask Alex and
the rest of us to follow Him into eternal
life. One day, if by the grace of
God we enter His eternal realm, maybe
we’ll be given a glimpse of His
vision and see how it all made perfect
sense, and how Alex’s departure was
perfect timing.
So instead of being resentful for his
passing, we should be grateful for the
gift of Alex that was given to us for 18
years. No question we will miss him
around the campfire in the summer,
playing point guard for the Camptrotters,
sharing in witty puns with his brothers,
being fixated on his computer in the
living room, being the teammate and
friend he was for so many; and we will
certainly miss him around the dinner
table at family gatherings - but
it’s only temporary.
St. Paul stated in the NT that, if Christ
did not rise from the dead, our entire
faith is in vain; and if that were the
case then this gathering here would be
nothing but a lame attempt at feeling
good in the face of a senseless
tragedy. But conquering death is
what Jesus came to do 2000 years ago with
His resurrection; and what that means for
us here today is one thing: What
would have been a goodbye is instead just
a see you later. And it means that
Alex finished the race before we did; not
surprising for Alex.
And it means that he waits for us in the
great happily-ever-after that we all
yearn for in our hearts.
Alex, acknowledging this is not a
good-bye, we say to you see you later,
and look forward with anticipation to
sitting around the table with you once
again, in the eternal house of God, where
the joy is complete and the feast never
ends.
Please pray for us Alex, as we pray for
you, that we may be made worthy of this
promise.
Paul Murano
teaches theology and philosophy at
Assumption College and Northshore
Community College. He is also the
producer of Paying Attention! Radio
Program on WCAP. You can E-mail Paul at PJDM@aol.com
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